One day, holding a neither thick nor thin book, you ran to me excitedly, pointing at the black words on the white paper and said with a smile: look at you, this sentence is really good! I was attracted by her voice. I leaned over and saw only those figures pointed at by my finger: Butterfly, how can I fly across the sea? My heart was stunned, then I smiled at the man, without saying anything, but thinking in my heart: Butterfly, I don’t know if it can fly over the sea, I only know that I am not a butterfly, therefore, I can fly across the sea. That man couldn’t hear what was in my heart, so I had to reply with a smirk. I was always like this. Whenever I didn’t want to speak, I would always pull up a smile without soul, it’s a little far-fetched. I don’t know if others can see it. I only know that my heart is very clear about what on earth is in my smile. Sometimes I hate me like this, but more often, I prefer to let it flow away like this, while I still haven’t made any changes. Since then, I don’t know why. You always say that butterfly can’t fly over the sea. And what I can’t fly is always the moral barrier, even a harmless joke. Others call people like me rigid. Of course, some people say that people like me are thin-skinned. Every time the later generations said the answer, my heart always thumbs up, as if I was seen through by others, but my face is a smile that does not show the mountain or the water, I still look heartless all day long. I didn’t do such a thing, didn’t pretend to be a fan of others to enter other people’s concerts, didn’t make up reasons to ask for leave just to be punished, and didn’t seem to have done anything against morality. When I am alone, I will smile bitterly. In fact, I don’t want to do something harmless, but it seems that I don’t have the courage to do it. Or, in another way, this is, so thin-skinned. I still remember the first time someone asked me to help her cheat. I didn’t answer but didn’t refuse. After finishing the test paper, I quietly avoided the invigilator’s eyes and wrote the answer on the draft paper, but I didn’t immediately give the answer to the strangers behind me. Not don’t want to, but, dare not. In fact, knowing that the exam was over, I still didn’t have the courage to pass the answer on that paper to that person. The small piece of white paper with answers written like ravines and ravines knew that the exam was over, but I didn’t know that it was completely wet by the sweat in my palm. I threw this answer into the trash can, and then when it seemed that it had never happened, I kept comforting myself with words like cheating was wrong. I can’t cross the threshold of morality. What’s more, the threshold even can’t reach morality. At this time, I felt that I was just like that butterfly. I tried my best, but still couldn’t reach the other shore. At that time, it seemed that even I didn’t know what it was. Later, time passed by in the air like dust, which seemed to leave no trace for me. I was still the butterfly and the sea, it seems that I can never fly. At that time, I could deeply feel the sorrow of butterfly. I don’t know where the butterfly can’t fly but the sea comes from? Are based not on fact? I don’t know these, but for myself, I can always know clearly. Just like I love the light that sunshine penetrates through the layers of leaves and falls in front of my eyes, just like I love the cool wind blowing the high leaves, while the low leaves are still different, just like I love a person lying on the grass and looking at the blue sky, and then letting myself miss the person who has stopped in my heart in the past days, just like I obviously don’t like it, however, I still repressed my heart and echoed with a smile, so sometimes I also felt that I would be hypocritical, but I didn’t take it to heart. No one said that I must show others my true self. After all, I still haven’t crossed such a barrier. I don’t know when to change and when? At this time, I will come after all. At that time, I liked someone very much and kept everything in my heart quietly. I was happy but sad. I carefully collected it. Before that, I actually didn’t know what love was and what sex was. At that time, I always took things too simple. I like it, but I don’t like being hurt. So I didn’t even have the strength to pull up a hypocritical smiling face. Seeing that man getting further and further away from me, I didn’t have any tendency to chase. However, since then, I have learned to be myself. I have never forced myself as before and never cared about myself in others’ eyes. Perhaps, if there is no one who likes himself, then you don’t have to bear it. I never compared myself to a butterfly any more. First, I no longer thought about the distance between a butterfly and the sea like this. The butterfly is too beautiful, but I yearn for the ordinary. People who know me all say how my life can be so ordinary. In their words, it is so boring, but I still enjoy it. Look at the mountains, even if they are just small mounds, water, even if they are just shallow pools, the sky, even if they are just haze, clouds, even if they are just dark clouds. Later on, I lived a more and more comfortable life, but I was still like a fish suddenly got water, and I just wanted to swim in the water without thinking about anything, I don’t know how long I haven’t felt it. The more you think like this, the more you feel that it is really not easy to live like this. Now, butterflies still cannot fly over the sea, right? I don’t know.

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