It was an early winter in 2014, when my wife was diagnosed with uterine tumor and needed surgery. We rushed to one of the best hospitals in B city to stay. There are more than ten patients in the same ward. Although it is a little messy, I am still pleased to be able to stay in time. All the examinations are finished, just waiting for the operation. After waiting for three days in a row, the doctor always said that he was too busy to stand. But I was worried. Although I asked for leave, there were so many things at home that I couldn’t afford to delay the time. At this time, a patient’s family member in another ward reminded me that you have to take the initiative to show a little bit to the doctor, or you have to suffer from the year of monkey and the month of horse, he said that his wife did the surgery after giving a gift …… I was in a dilemma when I heard that I had not given a gift for such a long time! But for the sake of my wife’s illness, I think I have to practice thick skin. According to that kind-hearted man’s instruction, I remembered what I should say, prepared the gift package that should be given, and went straight to the doctor’s office. When I walked to the door of the office, my heart jumped abruptly; Looking around, people around seemed to be watching myself. My face was red and I felt like a thief in my heart. I stood there stiffly with a drum in my heart …… finally I didn’t walk into the doctor’s office. When I returned to the ward, that kind-hearted person enlightened me for a while, and persuaded me to find opportunities and be responsible for my family. I feel deeply that I am incompetent and stupid: what others can do easily can’t be done by myself. I made up my mind that today I really want to risk my wife’s illness. When the doctor got off work, I saw the attending doctor walked into the dressing room and followed him immediately. I didn’t dare to see a doctor’s face. I recited a few words taught by a kind person, put down my wallet and returned it as if I ran away. My heart was about to jump out, and my face was feverish …… I really didn’t know how to get back to the ward. People in the ward looked at me with strange eyes. I also felt like a thief who had done bad things. I was really ashamed to meet others when I lay on the bed and covered the quilt quickly! The next morning, the head nurse informed us to move from Ward 15 to Ward 1 and prepare for surgery in the morning. Ward 1 has only two beds, spacious and quiet. The attending doctor went to the ward in person and instructed the aspects to be paid attention to and the matters to be prepared before the operation. The operation started at ten o’clock, and soon the operation ended smoothly. My hanging heart finally fell down. I understand that the gift-giving plays a role in living in a good Ward and having surgery in time. This time I did get the benefits brought by the gift-giving. However, this matter has been stabbing my heart and lingering. At the thought of this matter, my face got a fever and my heart beat abruptly. It took a long time for me to settle down. Usually, I am afraid that people will talk about gifts, especially that someone will invite me to give gifts to others. I always wonder when I can do things without giving gifts! I am looking forward to …… I am writing this article, which is just about my life experience and some thoughts and feelings. For some helpless actions made by friends to survive, I am both sympathy and understanding! I hope you don’t misunderstand my friends, thank you!

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