The erratic heart wandered wildly in the classroom. I feel calm, but I feel upset. Now I have a doubt about everything I have. Doubt your ability, the teaching profession you are engaged in, the 30 years of ups and downs you have gone through, and sometimes even doubt the survival itself. Why is it like this? I can’t say for sure. Now I am content with the status quo and even muddle along. Feel that life is meaningless, no matter how hard you struggle and struggle, you will eventually return to the dust. No matter how much I give to others, I can’t get others’ understanding and recognition. In this way, what is the significance of my giving? It would be better to hold basketball alone and sweat alone on the ice-cooled and enthusiastic playground, letting the fierce and ruthless sunshine make my delicate and white skin dark and rough. At least, I can forget a lot on the playground. Now I also like to mess around in the office with a mobile phone that I once thought was boring and ruthless. Even if I turn it on and off again and again, I still feel it is much better than crying loudly, at least my heart is calm. There is no need to be adorable and adorable in order to win others’ good impression, nor to flatter others with head and tail, let alone raise eyebrows for envy others’ achievements, my mouth is prominent and I am angry and sad. I am just myself, the self that blocks myself. The blockade here is not a negative isolation from the world, Instead, I return my heart to peace, and then use another way to make up for the missing things. Use words to express all kinds of things. Recently, I especially like that kind of simple and elegant words, just like drinking tea. A long smell can’t leave in my heart for a long time. Maybe if you close the book and put down the pen, you will not remember anything, but there is a great sense of satisfaction in your heart. I don’t know when I don’t like the strong white wine and the light boiled water. I only feel that the elegance of fragrant tea can store my soul. Staring at the rising tea leaves in the glass, smelling the strong aroma of tea, tasting this wonderful drink of tea blending, the inner satisfaction is incomparable. Life is enough. There is no need to haggle over every penny. Life is just like this tea, which can only be drunk two or three times by the drinker in the Cup, and then it will be flushed into the toilet. When the mission is completed, why should people remember themselves? It is enough to live in this world, and there is no need for others’ understanding and memory. He also lives in a state of great freedom. If it doesn’t matter to the world, then the world doesn’t matter to himself.

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