On that day, patients under the jurisdiction of other doctors asked to live in the sickbed where I was treated, and I agreed. This is the first time that I don’t stick to my own principles and don’t care about the difficulties and troubles that I may encounter in the future. I agree with the patient’s requirement of changing beds purposefully. I am not an acquaintance, nor because I am so soft that I cannot withstand her request. She was an ordinary middle-aged woman, who was once a tough and arrogant patient (this was the evaluation of her by our whole department at that time), when I came to our department for treatment after the initial illness operation. Her stout, old face, rude words and arrogant personality were all the impressions she gave me at that time. However, such a woman had a good husband who was good-looking, both inside and outside, and had a successful career outside. She was gentle and generous at home and treated others modestly and politely, waiting for her to talk softly. Such contrast made most of the people who knew him for the first time stare astonished at his back. I am no exception. From the initial treatment to now, several years later, she has been treated by different doctors in the department in rotation, and she communicated in detail when I was in charge of it, when I was being treated in other doctor’s sickbed, I always greeted me and communicated with me in a few words. Gradually understand her illness, her experience in the first half of her life, and know that she used to be a professional backbone of a unit and a clever and lovely boy’s mother. She has good qualifications and college diploma in the unit, and through hard work, she has a lot of professional qualification certificates that are beyond the reach of many people. At home, she is the backing for her busy husband, under the condition that my father was absent most of the time, he brought up a diligent, progressive and excellent son. In the past mentioned by her intermittently, I connected the beautiful life of a gentle, intelligent, mature, confident and shining woman, she gradually understood why she had such an excellent husband and what a happy family she used to be. When talking about that year, I saw a flash of self-confidence and longing flame in her eyes, but it was just a flame, a short flash of flame. Those beautiful past and the flame of looking forward to the future have been unfortunately smashed and embezzled by the disease. Lying in front of me was the vulnerable woman who was threatened by the disease and defeated by the menacious attack. It was the moment when she was faced with the ferocious face of the disease and the terrible legend that her life faith collapsed, A desperate woman who has great doubts about the truth of life. I was shocked at first, and then scared, so I doubted, so I was desperate, so I gave up, so I was decadent, so I was unreasonable, so I was hysterical ~~~~~~~~~ but I could only do what I had learned to other patients just like, I tried my best to treat her, comfort her, encourage her and even stimulate her. When the existence of life encounters crisis, the dignity of life will be absolutely challenged. For some people, the frustration and loss of self-esteem caused by the threat of life are far more painful than the body caused by the disease itself. I think for them, the most appropriate thing is to say everything out, discuss life itself, death, the value of life process and the inevitability of life ending, those so-called white lies and empty prospects will only set off people’s helplessness and powerlessness. A few years later, her illness today began to show signs of deterioration, but she was no longer at a loss and hysterical as she did in those years. She discussed her illness with us, discussed the treatment she might receive, and even talked and laughed freely about the death who faintly showed her fangs far ahead. She said that she always hoped to find me when she was depressed, just talking. I said, do what you need and do what I can. There is only one life, and even if there is a reincarnation, it will never be a repeated process. So life precious. For real people, dignity is the same as life, and life has it. But there are differences. Sometimes dignity is more than life and will surpass life. Do what you need and do what I can ~~~~ I know the weight and commitment contained in this short eight character. I will work harder because I know it.

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