I haven’t kept a diary on the computer for a long time. Maybe I can’t remember those years any more. In junior three and senior one, many people or things are getting farther and farther away from me. But it seems to me, but it seems that I am not so lonely and only have another shadow to accompany me. About him, about that day, I didn’t understand how the profound and loss-bearing at that time continued step by step? I would rather believe that the I am at this moment is too lonely? Because it is still so simple and happy, I really want to approach him. Just like the plots in all romantic movies, dependence is so beautiful. I can never see the reality clearly. Maybe only deceiving myself and others can make me happy. Therefore, even if the fantasy is mixed with disappointment, I can hardly give up. Many things are beyond my control. The most stupid thing is that you want to deceive the whole world after cheating yourself. I suddenly understood how naive those thoughts were at that time. In fact, I am not brave at all, no matter who I am facing. The struggle that cares too much can make people feel uncomfortable. I have asked for countless times, why? Why does he influence me like this. The answer is that I give him such rights. For a moment, I really wanted to escape, thinking that as long as I pretended to stay away from him carelessly, it would be liberation. I still remember that day, I told myself very seriously that I would never push myself to the cliff of disappointment for the little hope that existed. The fact is that I repeat such steps over and over again, just like moths blowing into fire. But it really doesn’t matter. All frustration will pass and all disappointment will end. But I am still looking forward to the dream-like story. In fact, it is really easy for me to be satisfied, so that the happiness of others can move me to a mess, so that a word of care makes me very happy. I also thought over and over again that maybe I was wrong from beginning to end. For example, I don’t understand love, but just covet a dependence. For example, we are not suitable at all, but I always put him in an important position. I still remember that I expected his reply after commenting on his comments. I still remember that I couldn’t sleep in all kinds of self-made stories. In fact, many things seem to be idiots to others, and only oneself can understand that sweetness. Once, I was very keen on such a game, about conjecture and mystery, nobody could see through who? We were all affectionate in our own castles, but we never approached. Maybe, after so many days, I will never find that feeling again. All I know is that the fear of gain and loss actually makes people collapse, while the wavering mood makes people helpless. I think, whether it’s me or you, there are many things you don’t know. Because there is something wrong, they will leave each other. Mistakes and mistakes are just our human nature. Today, Ling said to me: I know you must want to get it (a heart-shaped balloon). I immediately noticed her meaning. Yes, the chaotic interpersonal relationship is full of ambiguous atmosphere of gossip and gossip. Sorry, smart as I don’t understand, why is this? Tomorrow was once very important to me, but now I am afraid of being late. Because I was afraid of loneliness, I couldn’t wait to get close to you, but the result just made me feel more lonely. It doesn’t matter. I never know that the most important pride is the insurmountable wall between us. Unwillingness to compromise is my most stupid choice; And silence is the final answer you left to me. Sorry, the ending I can think of is a tragedy without exception. If one day our world really does not have any intersection, I still hope that these deep and shallow memories belonging to me can always exist in my heart.

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